Boycotting all things healthy!

I knew it might be a few days til I could post. So I wrote on Monday, Feb 1st at home the following:

I don't think I ever got out of my negative thinking funk! I skipped yoga class on Tuesday because I was boycotting anything that resembled healthy. And yoga is in the very healthy category. So, no yoga for me!

Thankfully, I was able to ask my friends and mentors for help. I was able to be honest about my boycott. Most importantly I was willing to do things differently. Wednesday night I recommitted to taking care of myself. Thursday was a pretty easy day. I was just grateful to not be feeling so disgusted with myself.

Friday was tougher. Work was stressful. I was eating dinner later than normal, and on top of that my head kept telling me that food was going to fix how I felt. But I had already committed to meeting my friends for dinner. I was able to talk about my day, laugh and connect with people.

Saturday was a wonderful soul food day! A few weeks ago when I was really excited about yoga, I had asked a friend if she would be willing to photograph me doing yoga poses. She is Lynn Keller Photography located in Akron, OH. and she is an excellent photographer!

After my health/yoga boycott, I was slightly dreading the photo shoot. But I had committed, and so I went. I wasn't sure how it was going to go. I brought my yoga blocks, straps, mat and a couple of books with yoga poses for reference.

As Lynn and I were preparing for the photo shoot, a cute little VW bug pulled up to her house. Little did I know, Lynn had invited one of my yoga class instructors to the photo shoot. I immediately felt self-conscious and worried about not being good enough at yoga. I realized that I was comparing myself to Nancy who has been practicing yoga for about 30 years. So, I decided to be open to whatever this may bring.

Nancy and Lynn both are very open, warm and caring people. Not mention their twisted and quick sense of humor, so we laughed a lot! So this photo shoot turned into my very own private yoga session. It was absolutely amazing! Nancy did a warm up with me right in the studio. She helped me with correct alignment and explaining the benefits of each pose. And she showed me appropriate modifications when poses were painful.

The afternoon just gave me a renewed sense of yoga appreciation. It reminded me how rewarding and fulfilling practicing yoga is. I feel so empowered after doing my yoga practice. It feels great to be able to do something I never thought I could. It feels great to do poses that are challenging. It feels great when a pose that was difficult becomes slightly easier. It feels great to be able to stop and connect with the universe. It really does feel like I am nourishing my soul when I am practicing yoga!

Nancy asked me if I had a favorite pose. I'm not sure about a favorite, but I do know that I am still shocked every time I do Plank pose. I mean I can't do a push-up but I can do Cataranga-Plank pose. After thinking a second, I do have to say that I usually love corpse pose. Because it means that I can relax after a challenging class!

Ending the boycott. Namaste.

Learning to listen. . .

to my body! I think this is what I am going to have to improve on. I fell about an hour before my yoga class Tuesday. I seemed to be okay right after I fell and so I went as I planned.

As soon as I started my yoga practice, my knee hurt in the sitting pose. I already use a modification for my back, and I wasn't sure what to do about my knee. Then we did a short chant. Om, shanti, shanti, shanti, Om. . . It's wonderful. I never did the chanting for I started this class. There is something beautiful and profound about chanting these sanskrit words. Well, then we were on to downward dog and my right wrist was hurting more than I thought it was. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to put my weight on it or not. But it got easier and I decided to push through it.

My practice this night was much more difficult than the previous week. I was in a different spot than the week before. I had two friends there that hadn't come the week before. I was no longer on vacation. And I was pissed off about a situation at work. But I went in with the intention that I needed to trust that it would work itself out. I no longer was in control, so my action was to let go and trust higher power. I was glad to practice this while I had yoga, had I stayed home and been in my head it would've been much harder! It was also difficult to not worry about how my friends were doing in the class. At least when I went, I didn't expect things to be as they were the week before.

That night some practiced headstand pose, headstand strengthener and headstand modified. I think this is when I somehow strained my neck. I realized how weak my upper body is and how I need to work on strengthening it before I try this again! My wrist is still hurting today too. I think my ankle is healing. After some rest, arnica, stretching and ice, I do feel my body healing itself which I am extremely thankful!

So, I am learning that not only do I need to listen to my body outside of yoga, but also in yoga. I don't need to try and something just because I used to do be able to do it a year ago. I need to work with where I am at today, so that I can work back up to a higher fitness level.

I also am realizing how much I don't know about yoga. All the terms for the poses and different branches of yoga. This is something I would like to explore here on my blog. So for the next few days, I am going to continue to take it easy and hopefully be able to do class on Tuesday. Even if it is with some modifications. Listen and Trust. I think this is my new mantra. Namaste.